Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Santa rides a bike?

This is the funniest thing I’ve read all year: "'People just aren't expecting Santa Claus on a bike, to show up with a boombox playing Christmas tunes, with a Christmas tree on the back and a pulled-pork sandwich in his hand,' said Toraldo.”

Well, um…no I guess they wouldn’t expect that. Check out this article about a guy who delivers a Christmas tree and a pulled pork sandwich on a bicycle. I don't make this stuff up people.

In other news, congrats to the Christmas SPIRIT Foundation and FedEx for delivering the 100,000th free farm-grown Christmas tree to a military family this year through the Trees for Troops program.

On a less happy note, stories like this just burn me up (no pun intended). So in an all-too-common scenario, a local TV news station is getting a firefighter to light a Christmas tree on fire so they can do a "fire officials warn about the dangers of Christmas tree fires ..." blah blah blah. This guy had to use 2 road flares to get any kind of burning going, and then says "we're not trying to scare people away from getting a tree ..." Well, duh ... THAT'S EXACTLY what you are accomplishing when you do that!

So what's the message then? ... don't bring 2 lit road flares into your home??!!

GRRRR...that makes me angry! I wonder if David Addington at the Heritage Foundation still thinks Christmas trees "don't have an image problem." I was talking about him with a reporter at the Wall Street Journal yesterday who was writing about the Christmas tree industry and I said "you should call him up and ask him what kind of Christmas tree is displayed inside his home." That would be interesting to know. I bet he has a fake tree.

Yeah, and misinformation about Christmas trees is not a new phenomenon that tree farmers have to deal with. It's been going on for years, ever since factories started making big green toilet bowl brushes and calling them "Christmas trees." Check out this story of a promotional effort to promote fresh, farm-grown Christmas trees from 1969 ... make sure and play the song and listen to the lyrics, it's hilarious.

A couple interesting questions this week:

On a split trunk...
From: Jeffrey
Sent: Wednesday, December 14, 2011 12:02 PM
To: info
Subject: Is this tree damaged?

We purchased a Fraser Fir 2 nights ago and had the nursery fresh cut it for us. We put it into a tree stand and filled the reservoir with water. Since then, I've noticed the tree has barely absorbed any of the water. One thing - I found that the tree has a split in the trunk that rises from the bottom to more than half way up. Is this a fatal flaw and should I have it replaced, or am I barking up the wrong tree so to speak?

We've purchased Frasers for years from the same nursery and have not deviated from our normally successful tree standards.

It does not affect the ability of the tree to take up water through a fresh cut. The reason for the trunk to split is the field conditions prior to harvest. You did everything right. I would monitor the water level for the next few days closely. It can take a while for the tree to start moving water up its system. I put my tree up this past Friday evening and it didn't start taking up water until last night.

From: g_m_reiland@
Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 5:31 PM
Subject: tree stand
I have a quick question and was hoping to get information from the experts. I just purchased a fraser fir and brought it in the house this morning. It is in the stand and is sitting pretty flush to the bottom. I told my husband we need to raise it up a bit so water can flow under and he said it's unnecessary and that it's supposed to sit flush so that the tree is more secure. What is your opinion?

While it's best to have the entire surface area of the cut tree trunk wet at all times, I don't think you can create a water-tight seal by having the cut surface flat in the bottom of the stand. Water is absorbed on a molecular level by the plant tissue and it most likely will be able to do so in this case. Most tree stands do have some kind of prong or spike in the bottom to help with both of your points, exposure to water and stability.

From: Michael
Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 11:20 PM
Subject: Tallest Christmas Tree Question
Hello. I've been watching a Christmas tree special on television, and have learned that the tallest Christmas tree in a private residence is at the Vanderbilt home, and is "three stories high." Next year, I'd like to try to beat that in my home. Do you have any information on the tallest Christmas tree ever displayed in a private residence? I'm pretty certain I could erect a tree well over 25 feet in my home, which is a concrete monolithic dome home in Las Vegas.If you can come up with any information or links I can research, I would appreciate it!

Sorry Michael, that's not something we would be able to verify or track in any way. In other words, I have no idea how they can prove the "three stories high" tree you saw on the special is indeed the tallest?

Hey check out my tree I put up and decorated this past Friday! Isn't she a beee-yoot?


Usemeplz said...

I've read this post with great pleasure! "Santa on a bike" sounds cool, I like this idea:)

Rick Dungey said...

thanks! I thought it was funny too.